One of my favorite comedians is Tig Notaro because she is a real downer and it's because of all the awful things that have happened to her that she is also FUNNY AS HELL.
Recently I've felt the brunt of terrible things happening. I felt the accumulation of small irritable, disappointing and annoying things wind up to an overwhelming feeling of ARGH.
Today I had the experience of feeling close to the extreme of feeling absolutely shitty.
I mean...I was beyond annoyed. I was questioning the purpose of doing anything. I was feeling like abandoning everything and wallowing in the feeling.
Then something broke. I got an amazing news at work. I was treated to lunch. I got positive feedback. Someone gave me a great compliment. The list of pleasantly surprising things goes on...
Why am I even talking about this?
The more I think about it, the more I realize that there is no rhyme or reason for the way things happen but sometimes when things are teetering on the edge of hell something shifts it all. It's almost as if making it to the point of complete utter exhaustion begets the relief and reward.
I don't have any scientific research to defend this theory but it keeps happening to me. It's taught me to not abandon my joy or propensity of seeing the world as a gift rather than the bane of my existence.
Because living isn't a nuisance. Living shouldn't be the 'bane of my existence.' It shouldn't be annoying. Living should be received and in doing so the ebbs and flows of life makes everything worth something.
And something is better than nothing... right?