I struggle tremendously with uncertainty. I mean it’s HARD AF. These past few months I have experienced a whirlwind of change in every aspect of my life. My body, my emotions, my heart, my confidence…
I have been wondering how I can accept not knowing what will happen to me or the people I love. The reality is I cannot move around it. The only certainty is that there is uncertainty and that is so dissatisfying but also gratifying because I’m not the only one who will never know. NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.
Anyway, I just accepted a new job. It’s a big job and it makes me nervous and it makes my mind clamor in incessant anxiety and it makes my head hurt but it’s good. It makes me glad and proud and honored and motivated and excited.
Which is to say, I don’t know anything about anything most of the time but I know that somehow I will know something someday and that I will land well. Whether I land on my feet, on a stack of mattresses or a fictional bowl of marshmallows I will land and be there and present and great.